been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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