break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
