You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
