The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
