I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize