Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
someone owes me an orgasm
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you didnt know i had herpes?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
