I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
