that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
