it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize