i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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