I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
