Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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