no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
