this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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