I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I could fuck to npr.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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