I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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