You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
