She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
