I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
