I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
