i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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