i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
