You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
