Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she peed on how many people?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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