My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
