mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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