My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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