So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
