the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The struggles of a small town man whore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
