I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
