Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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