Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
