wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
