I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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