I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
