I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize