I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize