Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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