I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm getting married
To pizza
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize