I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
should my penis look like a turkey
His hands were made for my vagina.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
