I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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