Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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