he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
