I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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