I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
