Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
