He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
