I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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