i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just tell him i said nine months
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
