i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
