The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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