Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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