What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
porn star boner night. come get it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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