he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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