I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
