You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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