I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize