Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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