i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Houston, we have a blender
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
